gratitude in sweaty season

a list of things i'm grateful for in the heat of summer

Y’all, I don’t like summer.

I have tried for years to remedy my dislike. Mainly, I have felt guilty and ungrateful for not liking summer, but to be honest, I feel like I’m starting to come to terms with my discomfort for summertime.

I’m not going to write a tome about what it was like to grow up in the Southeast in the summertime because frankly, I already did, but suffice it to say that I do not like to be hot. I’m a shapely woman who’s thighs are dear friends and can’t seem to stay away from one another, so dressing in the summer is not my favorite. I’m all about sweater weather. Layers make me feel confident and comfortable. I relish a chill in the wind because I can breathe deeply, and the change in the weather feels magical. There’s not a lot of magic about 104 degrees, forest fires, and feeling your lungs burn.

However, I have also been learning that I cannot walk through a hard season without finding things to be grateful for in it. Having a child with explosive emotions can make any day go from feeling steady and routine to being plunged into deep despair and grief. One day we’re at church and Sam is listening to us and communicating his needs, and the next we are in the car at 7:45AM going for a drive in order to calm manic behaviors. It switches on a dime and leaves David, Sam, and I feeling lost.

But today I was listening to the The Lazy Genius podcast with Kendra Adachi talk about the things that were currently saving her life and I could feel my spirit rise inside of me. This is a list that Kendra publishes from time to time and it is highly motivated by the season of life her family is in. I love listening to her lists mainly because most of the things on them are simple and very practical. Dry shampoo, movie nights with her kids, a new vacuum cleaner—Kendra can always find something to be grateful for in whatever season she’s in.
And dadgummit, so can I.

I took Kendra’s lists as a challenge to myself. I cannot be ungrateful about the season of life I’m in AND grumpy about the literal weather. Obviously it doesn’t honor God, but moreover I think that God is saddened by my general weariness towards life. It’s not a bright and shiny life I’ve been given, but it’s mine. This is my journey towards sainthood, and I’ll be danged if there’s not simple, practical things to be grateful for along the way.

So, without further ado, here’s a list of ten things I’m grateful for in sweaty season.

seesawing with a summertime sam

#1 cool evenings
Y’all I cannot tell you the glory of a cool evening in the summer. It is still a shock to my system. I have seen people wearing sweaters (to my Southern readers, that’s the heavy long-sleeved garment you get to wear off and on from about December to February) in the evenings. I have done it myself! There is no glory than a cool, dry breeze after a blazer of a day.

#2 somatic breathwork
I have not taken a class on this but luckily the high cortisol gurus of Instagram have my number and I have learned a lot simply by scrolling. During a meltdown a day or so ago, I stepped into another room, popped my headphones on, and practiced what I’d been reading. Next time you feel truly overwhelmed, take a four second deep breath, then take a tiny sip of air at the top of that breath, and then let it all out slowly. Do it three times. I do not know the science behind this, but I can literally feel my nervous system come back online after I do this cycle a few times.

#3 our tiny, mighty garden
My zinnias are starting to pop and the perennials we planted are surviving (mostly). There’s color in our front yard and my cucumber vine is trellising like a champion. Bees are everywhere and while Sam has a healthy respect for their stingers, he can’t help but point them out in wonderment as they go about pollinating, buzzing, and turning our front yard into a scene out of “The Secret Garden”.

#4 new running shoes
I did it. I finally broke down and got myself a proper pair of running shoes. They’re actually built more for training than running, which is what I’m focusing on, but it’s nice to be supported and not have my plantar fasciitis scream at me every time I hop on a treadmill.

#5 my lady jane
If you like irreverent period comedies, you’ll appreciate My Lady Jane on Prime video. I love a historical romance, but with the slightly modernized language and tempo, it takes this fictional retelling of the life of Jane Grey and makes it relatable and fun. If you are a historical purist and can’t handle a bit of language and the occasional spicy scene (though I have to say, they handled those very well), then it’s not for you. But if you like a romping comedy with actors who have fully embodied both the time period and the ridiculousness of their situation, then you’ll likely love it.

#6 menu planning
I have a white board that is magnetized to the side of our fridge where I write out the meals for the week. This only comes after menu planning on a steno pad and writing all the groceries we’ll need to make it happen, but once everything has been shopped for, it brings me great joy to write our plan on the white board so that at a glance, I know what tomorrow brings in at least one area of my life, even if it is just quesadillas. This is not the exact white board I have, but here is one that’s fairly similar and it makes dinnertime a lot easier.

#7 backyard cocktails
Our favorite neighbors have been gone on a month long road trip, but they returned late last week and we had them over for impromptu cocktails while our kids fought played. While there were moments of mania (as is expected when two strong-willed four-ish year old's get together) it was nice just to catch up, take a breath, and sip on a Pimm’s cup while day slipped into early evening. It made me really thankful for our giant maple trees that provide such great shade, even if they do make it impossible to grow grass in patches of our backyard. And it made me even more grateful for neighbors who are easy to be around.

#8 choosing to clean the “junk spot”
Every household has one. Ours is the bar under the built-in china cabinet in our dining room. Guys, this cabinet is the piece that made us fall in love with the house, and we decimate it on the regular with ridiculous, piddly junk. Mail discards? On the bar. Pin frogs for floral arrangements? On the bar. Pieces of LEGO that will never find a home? BAR. It’s a disaster and it made me insane. So the other day, in a burst of what is likely ADHD hyper-fixation energy, I cleaned it. Now it only has a voter’s pamphlet on it. You can appreciate the deep, rich wood, and you even notice there’s china displayed above (what?!?). It brings me immense joy for this area to be tidied. So am I bragging on myself a little bit? Yes. Do I think I deserve it? Yes, I do.

#9 manito park
This is usually the park that Sam and I frequent after his OT appointments. It sprawls and has a lot of different areas to offer, most of which are very carefully curated, but the area that has completely captivated Sam and I is Duncan Gardens. This is a lush area that is sculpted and planted to perfection in the traditional European Renaissance style, and currently it is exploding with color. Sam likes to kick off his shoes and run barefoot in the grass, running between the two stone fountains and asking me about the flowers that he sees growing. It’s the type of place that you’d want a tall, brooding Darcy type to say something vaguely condescending in. Don’t tell my husband I said that—he’s more of a Bingley.

#10 water, in all its forms
Summer is hot, but it makes me so appreciate the water. We have been to rivers and pools and splash pads and they have all felt so incredible and glorious in the heat. A cool shower after a sweaty gardening session is invigorating and a couple of times this summer, my socks were blessed right off by a thunderstorm. My love of thunder is so deep it’s genetic (thanks Mom) and I am brought closer to God every time I hear the rumble of thunder.

…

A lot of these things are not specific to summer, but I have found that I am grateful for them right now, and right now it’s summer.

I am attempting to lean on the strong chest of gratitude and listen for its heartbeat. I tend to be more pessimistic and am quick to jump to gloom and doom. It’s not a great quality and I would like to change it. I am, however, adept at noticing little things that tend to go unnoticed. The white butterflies that frequent our lavender plants, the noisy neighbor who has been more quiet recently, the petunias that I thought were dead, perking back up for a second round of bouncy, joyful color.

Even when I have to lock myself in the bathroom and cry, I am attempting to find the silver lining in a desperate and lonely moment. Even if it’s just that these moments push me into prayer, at least I’m talking to God. At least I haven’t given up.

By the time this ‘stack is published, it will be August. School will be on the forefront of everyone’s minds and it will only be a handful of weeks until the air changes yet again. I don’t want to live in summer, but I do want summer to be able to be welcome in me.

Because seasons change. And I want to live in them all.

Always,
Emily

P.S. Honorable mention that didn’t make the list but maybe should have: air conditioning. Good Lord am I grateful for the modern convenience of central air.